#11: TRANSITIONING + CLIFF DIVING: SMALL STEPS THAT LEAD TO BIG CHANGE

We are Rachel Bellotti and Jenell Riesner, co-hosts of the TRUE NORTH COLLECTIVE PODCAST, exploring everyday people fearlessly finding and living their true north.

We have met so many interesting people from all walks of life living fascinating and inspiring lives whose stories aren’t being told. This season we are excited to connect with and celebrate the untold stories of everyday people from Sheboygan, WI, to Santa Monica, CA, who are living their true north and inspiring each of us to do the same.

Today, we welcome Anya DeNiro, author, copywriter, and parent, who recently transitioned her identity to female in her 40s. We cover a ton of ground in this powerful and bold episode that finds the universality in the human experience of finding oneself and what one wants and then actually going about making it a reality. It is real, honest, raw, and incredibly relatable. As promised, get ready for some un-sugar-coated conversation!

*note: this episode includes explicit language and content appropriate for those ages 16+

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Whoop wearable that tracks heart rate + variable strengths day to day - Get a free WHOOP strap and your first month free when you join with this link.
• Free Hal Higdon training program - how to train for a ½ marathon as a running novice
• Cis gender
• To learn more about or connect to Anya DeNiro’s writing, visit her on twitter here
• Horror dance - Erin Sheppard Presents
• Intro music from Jukedeck - create your own at http://jukedeck.com

3 KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Through parenthood, there is an opportunity to see how you want to be treating yourself in seeing the care and way that you treat your kids. They are precious and you want the world for them - why don’t we hold ourselves in that same space? And ultimately, the best way to take care of these little miracles is to actually take care of yourself.
2. Taking as much time as you need is ok. And small steps can make BIG change feel more doable. Small steps become an anchor during times of transition so that you can get used to more bite sizes aspects of the change until you are ready to own the bigger change.
3. Many times what we want includes layers of misconception around the person we think we need to be to have what we want. And in this misconception, there is a mismatch with who we think we are vs who we think we need to be. When we allow ourselves to see these mismatches as the misconceptions that they are, we can start to unpack them and understand ourselves and choose to be who we truly want to be AND go after what we want.

TIME STAMPED SHOW NOTES:

• [5:00] A new type of fitness wearable called Whoop
• [7:22] Training for a half marathon as a novice
• [8:25] Introducing Anya DeNiro
• [12:40] Dealing with small change + big change even when afraid
• [15:00] When quick fixes no longer work to address the deeper feeling of something missing
• [22:50] “man”ing up - desperately resisting who you actually are
• [26:15] Parenthood allowed me to be tender to myself
• [28:30] I think I am trans…does that make sense? Now what?
• [31:30] The universal experience of becoming who we are
• [33:30] Setting small goals to give self time to get used to the change
• [38:44] Get curious with love to better understand that which you do not know vs hating - it takes the same amount of energy
• [38:45] Barriers around misconceptions
• [45:00] Writing to connect the trans community + not just to survive
• [54:44] Learning to love yourself
• [57:30] Emotional intelligence as a man
• [1:06:40] Connect with Anya DeNiro via Twitter: @adeniro and IG: @adeniro
• [1:07:35] Thank you for listening + reach out on our website if inspired